


Boundless

by engonasin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cat Ears, First Time, Loveless AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 01:32:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engonasin/pseuds/engonasin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He steps out of his remaining clothes and turns around after a few moments, afraid of what Erwin will deduce as his eyes roam over his pale skin, blemished by many scars and bruises but no name. It’s not there, not on the soles of his feet, not tucked away under one of his arms, not even obscured by the hair on his scalp. </p><p>He is naked in the most shameful way possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boundless

“Good work today, Levi.”

Levi is used to receiving praise. In the two years since he joined the scouting legion he’s grown accustomed to hearing people compliment his skills in the field. What's a little out of place is that for once he’s hearing it from Erwin.

They’re in Erwin’s office, alone for the first time since they returned from a brief, grueling expedition earlier that afternoon. It’s almost evening now. Looking out the window Levi can see that dusk is falling, tinting the sky a warm purple streaked with orange-bellied clouds. Inside it’s dark and quiet, the gloom broken only by the sound and sight of Erwin lighting a match and some candles.

Levi never responds to praise with more than a grunt or a small frown, but here with only Erwin to hear him he figures it won’t hurt to reply. “Did you expect anything less?”

Even as he says the words he feels a little worried—Erwin has never felt the need to vocalize his approval before. He has always known that Levi can tell whether or not he is displeased with something. The room grows stuffy then and his tail, long and wiry, twitches anxiously, as do his short cat’s ears. He sees Erwin’s eyes linger on them when he turns around with a little smile tugging at the corners of his lips and he wonders if Erwin is purposefully trying to rile him up.

“Well, no,” Erwin says. He straightens up so he can slide out of his jacket. It fits a little too snugly around his thick chest and arms. Levi predicts that the sleeves are going to get stuck. “I only hope I can continue to expect such admirable effort from you.”

“What makes you think you can’t?” Levi demands. His ears flatten against his hair in displeasure. He stares at the insignia stretched across Erwin’s back for a moment. Erwin’s always talking in layers and scheming up something, but right now that shouldn’t matter. They’re not out in the field fighting titans, they’re just having a conversation. “Would you like my ‘admirable effort’ in helping you get your jacket off?”

The light gleams gold in Erwin’s hair as he nods. “If you would.”

Levi steps around the desk and behind Erwin. He takes hold of the end of one sleeve, tugging it down until it’s free, then does the same for the other one. Once the jacket’s loose he looks it over and scowls at all the scuffs and wrinkles before folding it over his arm. Erwin sits in his chair and watches him grumble.

“Your ears are charming,” he says. Levi peers up at him through the dark curtain of his bangs, his tail flicking in annoyance. Erwin’s pale eyes are indeed fixated on Levi’s ears. After a moment they slide down and meet Levi’s own eyes. His little smile from earlier widens. “I admit I’m a little curious about why you still have them.”

The statement is bold. Erwin has always been good at toeing lines he shouldn’t cross. Levi wonders if it gives Erwin some kind of weird hard-on to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s a virgin. 

“So I’m old-fashioned,” he replies, and it’s true, in a way. Growing up, he learned from observation what could happen if one wasn’t careful when choosing sexual partners. He wasn’t concerned about being overpowered by someone stronger than him—he was the strongest there was. He was always more concerned about diseases. Even now he feels suspicious as he stares at the top of Erwin’s head and wonders about who had the honor of helping him lose his ears, and then wonders if they were clean. “What’s it to you? D’you want to help me get rid of them or something?”

It takes him a second to realize the full implication of what he’s suggested. He can’t take it back now. He holds Erwin’s neatly folded jacket in his arms and waits.

Erwin smiles fully. “I’m not opposed to the idea.”

“I’m so flattered.” Levi thrusts the jacket toward him. He feels a little relieved. Erwin’s comments until now have been genuine. He thinks Levi’s ears are charming. “Here’s your jacket.”

“I was being honest,” Erwin says. He leans back in his chair, as if to minimize how large he is and how potentially threatening he looks because of it. “I’m fond of you, Levi.”

Levi could swear he hears a quietly added “and your ears” as he turns his back on Erwin and begins to walk away. “If I’d known they’d cause such a fuss I would’ve gotten rid of them ages ago.”

“My offer still stands,” Erwin says when Levi is at the door. He hesitates, then reaches for the doorknob and steps into the hall.  


-

As a general rule one’s true name is supposed to appear on one’s body at some point in adolescence. Even if his had appeared on a part of his body he himself couldn’t see, Levi knows that Isabel and Farlan would have told him about it, as he had told them about theirs—they’d seen each other naked plenty of times over the years. Yet here Levi is, a month shy of twenty-seven years old and still nameless. 

Now that they’re gone there is no one who knows that Humanity’s Strongest has no name and no nature. He would like to have kept it that way, but somehow at the moment he’s allowing himself to be undressed by the thirteenth commander of the scouting legion in a corner of his office.

Levi has seen Erwin’s name before, has caught glimpses of it whenever Erwin extends his hand to take and give things, or, more commonly, to curl it into a fist over his heart: _boundless_. It’s imprinted almost like a burn or a birthmark in the curve of his right palm. Levi can see it up close for the first time when Erwin cups his jaw and stares down at him. Levi’s naked from the waist up; his shirt, jacket, and cravat have been discarded in a crude pile at his feet.

Erwin regards Levi with unreadable eyes, as if unsure what to do next. The thought is almost laughable; Erwin always knows what to do. Sure enough he brings a large hand to Levi’s ears and scratches them at the base, as if Levi is a common housecat and not a person of considerable value and stature. His sheer confidence is enough to make Levi stretch up on his toes and push into the touch, even though he has never before liked it when people pet his ears.

“Saying your goodbyes?” Levi says, feeling pleasure ripple across his skin. Erwin’s other hand presses into the small of his back, sliding lower until his fingers brush the part of Levi’s spine that extends into his tail. Levi stiffens, seized with the fear that Erwin is going to yank on it. Erwin steps back when he notices Levi doesn’t like it and moves both of his hands to Levi’s belt buckle.

“Your name,” Levi blurts. Erwin’s hands still. “Who is your—your partner?”

“My fighter has been dead for many years,” Erwin says. He doesn’t sound sad, just somewhat wistful. “What about you?”

Levi’s mouth hangs open, unable to produce intelligent sound. “. . . I don’t know. I’ve never . . . here, let me show you.”

He steps out of his remaining clothes and turns around after a few moments, afraid of what Erwin will deduce as his eyes roam over his pale skin, blemished by many scars and bruises but no name. It’s not there, not on the soles of his feet, not tucked away under one of his arms, not even obscured by the hair on his scalp. He is naked in the most shameful way possible.

“You’re a blank,” Erwin says after staring at Levi’s nakedness for what has felt like hours. Levi looks at him over his shoulder, uncomprehending. “A blank fighter.”

“Of course _you_ would know about something like that.” Levi turns back around to face him. His hands clench and unclench at his side. “I’ve never heard of such a ridiculous concept in my life.”

“What’s ridiculous about it?”

“I don’t have a name,” Levi says, in a tone that suggests it should be obvious. “I don’t have a bond.”

Erwin shrugs. “Some people just don’t. It’s perfectly natural.”

“I don’t have a _bond_!” Levi shouts. Erwin’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise. “There’s no one out there—in _any_ of these fucking walls—who needs me! I’m useless! How could you understand that? You _had_ a bond! You had someone, no matter how fleetingly, who was _there_ for you. I-I—I’m—”

“Levi,” Erwin says, his voice hushed.

“— _alone_ ,” he finishes, breathing hard. He swallows and feels his throat burn. He’s a complete wreck, standing in front of Erwin in the nude with his shoulders and ears quivering. Why is he here? Why is he here at all? “I’m alone and useless and this was a . . . a mistake. I’m leaving.”

Erwin waits until Levi puts his clothes back on before saying, “Can I tell you something about blank fighters, Levi?”

“ _What_?” Levi says harsher than he means to, tying his cravat with more force than necessary.

“They aren’t born with their own name,” Erwin says, “but they can take on someone else’s.”

Levi’s hands fall to his side. He stares past Erwin to the window, where rain has begun to beat against it in a downpour. It’s cold in Erwin’s office now. A chill prickles up the back of his neck.

“Being a blank fighter doesn’t mean you have no purpose, Levi,” Erwin says. He holds out his hand and waits. Levi takes it in both of his own, cherishing how warm and rough his skin is. “In a way it means you have unlimited potential.”

Levi turns Erwin’s hand palm up and stares at his name. “. . . Would you have me?” he asks finally, hating how small his voice is.

“I would like that very much.”

-

It’s snowing when Erwin gives Levi his name. Levi’s not sure how the process works, how he can be bonded with someone whose name appeared naturally while his has to be branded or carved into his flesh by hand. Erwin doesn’t seemed bothered when he presses the hot iron into Levi’s palm. Levi tries to sit still on the edge of the desk as he lets himself be burned. 

The brand has been wrought to match Erwin’s neat, blocky handwriting. It’s almost too big for Levi’s hand, Erwin points out in amusement as he treats and bandages the burn. The letters reach to the tip of Levi’s thumb.

“Did you even know you were a fighter, Levi?” Erwin asks when he’s done. He sets the medical kit aside and flexes his fingers.

“What does that matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t.”

Levi’s tail twitches. “I don’t know what I thought. It didn’t matter to me if I was a fighter or a sacrifice if I was by myself.”

Erwin rolls his shirt sleeves back down and buttons the cuffs back. “Perhaps that was why you were such a strong soldier. With no sacrifice to hold you back before—”

“I’m _still_ a strong soldier,” Levi interrupts, glaring. “. . . And I guess being a sacrifice is why you’re so good at bossing everyone around.”

Erwin rises to his feet, eyebrows aloft in thought. “Well, yes. In a spell battle it would be my place to direct your attacks. I suppose after my previous fighter died I just gravitated toward a career that fulfilled my innate calling to command.”

He touches Levi’s ears as he speaks. It’s become a habit in the short amount of time since they decided to bond. Levi allows it, since they won’t be there for much longer. They haven’t discussed that night he let Erwin strip him in his office, nor have they discussed the slow kiss that led to it. There’s no need to. Levi tilts his head back and parts his lips, and Erwin is there.

-

Levi has always wondered how people’s second set of ears go away. He doesn’t know if they fall off or if they just vanish. He doesn’t even know if it’s painful.

“Will it hurt?” he asks as he lies on Erwin’s bed, naked. His ears and tail are still here for the moment; Erwin has barely touched him, though he’s been eyeing his cock for the past minute or so, as if he’s considering sucking it.

“In all likelihood,” Erwin says. “I’ll do my best to prepare you but you are considerably smaller than my—”

“I was talking about my ears.” Levi scowls and rolls onto his stomach before Erwin can touch his cock, letting his tail flick the side of Erwin’s face.

Erwin exhales in a way that might be a soft laugh or a sigh—there’s no telling with him—and asks, “Are you nervous?”

“Of course not.”

Levi must be as bad a liar as ever, because he can tell Erwin makes an effort to be gentle after that exchange. His hands are large and warm against Levi’s buttocks, and his first two fingers stretch and fill Levi to an almost uncomfortable degree. Levi holds tight to the sheets and presses his cheek into the mattress, breathing unsteadily as Erwin moves his fingers. Erwin is careful not to move too fast as he increases his pace and slides a third finger in almost before Levi realizes what he’s doing.

“Fuck,” Levi gasps. He can’t even be bothered to think about how disgusting the squelch of the oil is as it drips down his inner thighs, not when it feels so incredible. When Erwin takes his hand away and urges Levi to move onto his back, Levi obeys, his hands seeking out Erwin’s broad, naked shoulders. His cock is big, but he’s still gentle, and Levi arches up off the mattress with a shudder. His toes and tail curl when he locks his ankles at the small of Erwin’s back.

Erwin is so much taller than Levi that he almost can’t bury his face in Levi’s hair, but he manages it somehow, allowing Levi to hear him chuckling. He seems to like how Levi’s ears and tail perk and relax in a pattern that matches his slow thrusts. Everything he does is maddening and arousing. Levi is so focused on the feel of his muscles and the sounds he makes that he doesn’t notice if losing his ears is painful. He doesn’t even notice they’re gone until afterward, when Erwin pulls him to his chest and tousles his hair with an almost mournful sigh.

“You’re impossible,” Levi mumbles, and pulls up the blankets.

-

No one sees his name for quite some time. It’s in an obvious enough place, yet for the next few weeks everyone is too busy pointing out that his ears and tail are gone to notice what has replaced them. The first person to do so is Mike, and it’s not until over a month later.

Levi can’t find the stepping stool he uses to reach the high shelves in the pantry, so he’s improvising by climbing on the shelves themselves when Mike pokes his head in and sees him. He reaches up and easily gets to the sack of flour Levi needs.

“Thanks,” Levi says, wiping at the dust on his face. He almost drops the sack of flour when Mike gives a loud, unsubtle snort and cranes his neck so he can stare at Levi’s hand. Levi scoots back, daring him to say something.

“Well, I’ll be,” Mike murmurs. “Imagine that.”

“What’s to imagine?” Levi asks. He stalks past him with his back straight and his head up high. “You want me to tell you all about the blissful state my ass has been in for the past five weeks?”

“No need,” Mike calls after him. “I thought you’d been walking funny lately.”

-

Levi misses his ears and tail sometimes. He had them for so long that life is a little odd without them, especially considering how fond of them Erwin had been the first time they had sex. Even now he’ll touch the base of Levi’s spine sometimes, as if hoping to find his tail still there. Their sex life is perfectly fine without them, though. He makes sure of that.  


-

There’s not much use for spell battles in this day and age, not when there are titans outside the walls who have to be fought and killed in a specific way. In the slums Levi had witnessed spell battles being used as a way to fight for dominance, territory, food, and pride. Isabel and Farlan were strong together. Levi had had to be twice as strong in order to survive on his own. Now he’s almost grateful to have been born a blank—it has defined his life so indelibly that he doubts he would be the person he is today if he hadn’t been one. It could go without saying that he could never have been given this chance with Erwin otherwise.

He’s thought many times about asking Erwin about his old fighter. There never seems to be an appropriate time, not when Erwin is worrying himself prematurely gray about the scouting legion’s affairs. Levi decides to ask him one evening when they’re tangled together on Erwin’s bed after a particularly slow bout of lovemaking.

Erwin instead tells him about his first love, a girl who worked at a bar he and his friends liked to go to when they were trainees. Levi doesn’t see how it’s relevant to his question.

Levi rolls onto his side so he can look at Erwin and his sweat-slick skin, his ruffled hair. “What happened to her?”

“She and Nile are expecting their first child this summer.”

“You’ve done that woman a disservice.”

“Nile might not be the best at assessing the situation outside the walls, but he is a capable member of the military police. He’s well-suited to the domestic life.” Erwin shakes his head. “I wouldn’t be much of a husband.”

“You’re doing fine so far,” Levi says. “But that’s not really what I asked. I wanted to know about your previous fighter, if that’s okay.”

As the silence stretches on for well over a minute Levi thinks that perhaps it isn’t okay. He glances at Erwin’s face. He doesn’t look mad or taken aback. He doesn’t look any particular emotion at all.

“I never knew them,” Erwin replies after a while. “My name appeared when I was ten, and I thought maybe my fighter was a member of my family, or one of the neighbors. Our names don’t appear until we make contact with our other half, you know. So I looked but I never found them. There’s a theory now that suggests our names might also appear when our partner dies before we meet.”

It’s Levi’s turn to be silent.

“It’s only a theory, and there’s not much evidence to prove it so far,” Erwin goes on, “but it’s the only explanation I have for never finding them.”

“At least you found someone who knows what that feels like,” Levi murmurs. He doesn’t have to describe the years of feeling helpless and lonely, the feeling of being lost even when surrounded by people he knew and trusted.

“I’m grateful,” Erwin says simply. Levi rolls over and buries his head under the pillow.

-

Over the years Levi has seen Erwin order many soldiers to their certain deaths. There is no doubt in his mind that Erwin would not hesitate to tell him the same. He trusts that whatever Erwin decides to do, there’s a good reason for it. No one’s death is in vain. He makes sure of that, too.

-

He believed that once. When he enters Erwin’s hospital room he inhales sharply and doubts his conviction. Nothing could be worth the bloody bandages, the lines on Erwin’s face, the troubled way he breathes even when unconscious. Levi pulls up a chair to his bedside and sits heavily.

Erwin has always had the freedom to make decisions, even if they were unpopular or controversial. Slowly Levi begins to suspect he wasn’t _free_ so much as good at getting what he wanted. He stares at Erwin now, unable to process the sight before him even though the news that Erwin had lost his arm reached Levi long before he arrived here.

Erwin had no limits before, but his name is gone now. When he wakes up later that night he’s sluggish and doesn’t seem to recognize Levi. He's awake for only a few minutes before he drifts off to sleep again, aided by medicine. A week passes before he’s able to speak clearly. As they wait for Pixis and Hange to arrive Levi can’t help making a quiet fuss over him.

“I brought you a jacket,” he says when he enters the room. He finds Erwin already sitting up, staring out the window and looking restless. Levi drapes the jacket over his shoulders before sitting in his chair. “How do you feel?”

“I’m tired,” Erwin replies. His gaze shifts from the window to Levi. There is clarity in his eyes for the first time in days, albeit dull and muted. “I’m so tired, Levi.”

Levi crosses his legs and arms, unsure what to say. “You’ll have to carry on anyway,” he says. It sounds cruel, but he’s sure if Erwin were acting like himself this would be his attitude. “A lot of people depend on you. Like me.”

Erwin smiles. It’s small the way all of his smiles are and for once it’s disheartening to see. “Even after everything I’ve done?”

“Yeah.” Though it pains Levi to speak of death so nonchalantly, he’s willing to say anything if it will cheer Erwin up. “Someone had to do it.”

Erwin ducks his head and touches his right shoulder with his hand. He considers it in silence. “We were never free, Levi,” he says eventually. “And I’m afraid that now there will be an even greater limit to what I can do.”

“Bullshit. What do you think I’m here for?” Levi puts his fist over his heart and gives him a half-assed salute. He’s quiet for a moment, then says, “We are _boundless_. There is nothing you and I can’t do, Erwin.”

The words are underscored by a strange tone, almost like a kind of ringing, and Levi realizes he’s cast a spell. Erwin still looks small and tired, but his smile grows a little less forced. “Thank you, Levi.”

“You can thank me when we get out of this mess,” Levi says. He leans forward and straightens the sheets. They don’t say anything else until Pixis arrives. There’s no need to.


End file.
